Cooking without the Smoke Alarm

It’s pretty common knowledge that I can’t cook. So much so that I’ve gotten these gifts over the years. I’ll add here that they were given by my mother and my mother-in-law.

An apron for all the times I do cook?


Everyone needs a spoon rester holder thingy, right?




It’s become a joke amongst my loved ones. My husband, my children, even my friends. I’m okay with it. Holidays I’m usually given the task of dessert or salad.

I have a friend who was born with the amazing talent of entertaining and being able to whip up a whole spread of food just like that. I even got so ambitious one year to try to recreate chocolate truffles that she had made. I made lovely choco-blobs that were super yummy!

My sister has friends over and calls my mom for clarification on a recipe and is one of the very few Caucasian women I know who make mean chicken enchiladas. Her Hispanic husband and mother-in-law are very proud!

My mother is Martha Stewart’s sister or long lost cousin, I’m sure of it. My mom can cook, decorate, sew, bake all before company shows up unexpectedly. Both my parents were/are great cooks. I grew up with dishes of shark, tortellini in cream sauce... No Hamburger Helper or meatloaf in my life until I got married!

It’s not that ‘lessons’ weren’t offered. Learning how to cook was just never on my priority list of things to do. I still don’t enjoy it. I don’t have any interest in learning. I still have offers from very qualified teachers. One girlfriend went to school to be a chef- Jim wants me to hang out with her more! I’ll be more than happy to keep someone company in the kitchen or taste test with a glass of wine in hand but teaching me?!?!?! No, thank you.

I’ve read Julie and Julia. I own The Basics: How to Cook Everything, Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook, Fix it and Forget it, Cooking for Dummies, Great American Favorite Brand Name Cookbook, the Ultimate Microwave Cookbook, Mealtime Express and a ton of other cookbooks from Southern Living, Pampered Chef, and Rachel Ray.

I own the microwave rice cooker from Pampered Chef and have only managed to make perfect rice once.

When my husband comes home and sees dinner on the table for two nights in row and it’s something I’ve actually made rather than just heated up or gotten out of a box, he has heart palpitations. Last night I made Stroganoff. It was a huge hit by ALL four kids. Tonight, chicken sandwiches. ANOTHER hit! I already have dinner pre-started for tomorrow night. I KNOW! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?

Now to my reason for this blog…. I made chips…. ALL MY MYSELF! I cut up the tortillas and deep fried them in oil ALL BY MYSELF. I only managed to kill a few of them and burn myself once!! They are for dinner for tomorrow night. The recipe called for chips and I figured we had the Costco size bag of tortillas so why not try it!?!?!?



I’ve just about worn myself out over the past few days with all this cooking. I hope the family won’t mind Mac and Cheese too much on Thursday.

Snow, Christmas, Snow, and More Snow

Geesh, I was on a real roll there for awhile. Blogging every day and now... yea... um... we got dumped on by the snow the week before winter break, for those of you that have not spoken to me or should I say heard my bitching. The kids had an entire week extra off because of the snow. I've been doing everything to try and retain some sanity. Unfortunately for my fans, that doesn't include blogging.

I am now on countdown until school starts. My kids start on the 6th. A Tuesday, you ask?!?!? Yes, the 5th is a development day for teachers. I know and love quite a few teachers. I think they are amazing people BUT SERIOUSLY a development day after THREE weeks of winter break?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? What is the district thinking?!?!?!?!?

I have made cookies with the kids from scratch (they tasted like saw dust!), played in the snow (got some really cute pictures but other than that it was really cold and wet!), made some more cookies from the fundraiser cookie dough (they were super yummy but I burnt the heck out of my finger!), and done art projects with the kids. I'm pretty done with the holiday season.

Disclaimer: I truly love my children. I am a better mommy when I get a break.

Look at this great picture that did come out of the three weeks. I have discovered Microsoft Publisher! So love my babies and Publisher!!!!!!

Where in the world?!?!?!

I have not fallen in the snow and ice that blankets us. I'm having computer problems to where I want to throw it out into the snow and ice! Be back soon!

Cookies Part 2

Important note about the cookies~ don't use an entire bag of chocolate chips! You will end up with melted choco-blobs! Things could be worse, I guess!



I called Hallie's mom and in between bouts of laughter, she said she thinks she used about a cup if not less. She also suggested, after the kids go to bed, to crumble the blobs over ice cream. I thought I was going to start back to my weight loss regime on Monday..... did I mean NEXT Monday?!?!?!

Cookies

Hallie came over for a play date armed with cookies! Have I mentioned I love her mom?!?!? They were wonderfully delicious! Soft and chewy with big chocolate chips...... and Cheerios?

Recipe:
1 egg
1 cup of sugar
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup Cheerios
Chocolate Chips

Mix together and form balls of dough. Place on cookie sheet. Bake for 10-11 minutes at 350 degrees.

They are more chocolate-y than peanut butter-y. If I hadn't been told there was peanut butter in them, I wouldn't have even guessed!

Ladies Man

This is the second school year we have lived in the area. I have gotten to know quite a few people. I get recognized as "Natalie's mom" when I go to the school. For the first time today, I was asked if I was "Grace's mom".

Last year, Natalie was in class with two girls, Rachel and Cameryn. The girls have still remained friends. Natalie and Cameryn are in the same class again. Rachel's little brother is now in Grace's class. Cameryn's little brother is also in kindergarten but with another teacher. Cameryn's little sister is in my Cameron's preschool class. You have all that straight? I've also gotten to be really good friends with both moms. Us moms of a million kids have to stick together.

I picked up both my Cameron and Hallie from preschool together. Hallie was going to come over and play. Well, play in the same house but in separate rooms. Cam in the living room with his trains. Hallie in the playroom with the dress up box. After Hallie left, Cam expressed how much he enjoyed having her here and that he had a lot of fun. Uh... o..kay? **We found out that they have something in common... another blog for another day**



That afternoon, Hallie's SISTER, Camryn, came over. The two Cam's played together. Her chasing him. Him laughing. Him chasing her. Her laughing. They had a blast. Natalie wasn't all that thrilled with her friend being distracted by her little brother. The little brother was LOVING it!



Needless to say, I think he had a good day!

Where's the camera?

I had transferred all my pictures from the camera to the computer the night before. The next morning I took three pictures of the girls for our Christmas card. They were moved right away so the card could be made. Lo and behold I had more than just the three pictures I took.

Gee, I wonder who's hands my camera fell into...









I was too busy laughing for them to be in trouble. This time their cuteness sure did save them!

Fancy Nancy

We celebrated Gracie's 6th a la Fancy Nancy. The girls all came dressed up. We decorated tiaras. We also made and ate 'parfaits'! Yummy!

Gracie's grandma surprised lil' miss with just about the entire Fancy Nancy section from Target...



I want her purse....

I...

I am totally cute and adorable.
When I saw the castles in the UK, I was so moved I cried.
I choose convenience over economics.
I voted for the first time in the most recent election.
I like hanging out with my mom.
I can touch my nose with my tongue
I have a house fire phobia.
I am a recognition whore.
I think Grace was a fairy in a former life.
I’m the only one in my house that has an innie belly button.
I think Natalie has eyes of an old soul.
I love living near water.
I prefer mama to mommy.
I don’t like to cook AND I’m not very good at it.
I don’t have ugly friends- they are all beautiful.
I consider myself spiritual.
The first concert I ever went to was Bon Jovi.
I am a book worm.
I love dark chocolate, pasta, and wine.
I’ve been arrested.
I want a house in Wales.
I sleep with one pillow but have 6 on my bed
I’d rather be cold than hot.
I feel kick ass with the color red around me.
Intelligence is turn on. Stupid people are a turn off.
I want a washer and dryer in my house when I grow up.
I believe in miracles, God, ghosts, Santa, and love at first sight.
Cameron and Gracie are the only people who think I’m a good singer.
I’ve sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call.
I’ve been cheated on.
I’ve had my heart broken.
I’ve lied, cheated, manipulated, stolen… a lifetime ago.

Just a bit of mud

The school nurse and I are on a first name basis. I have a child that has taken almost three years to adjust to school. Some weeks are better than others. I used to pick her up early on a regular basis. NOW I only get calls when she's bleeding or vomiting. So when I saw the called ID said "Unknown name Unknown number", I just knew it was Michelle calling. I grabbed my keys and purse preparing.

" Hi. I know who it is." (cutting her off)

"I have Susan in my office" (not the kid I was expecting at all! and you can tell she doesn't have any run-ins with this one because she's calling her by the wrong name)

"What? Grace? Oh my! Is she okay?"

"While out at recess, she slipped and fell and is now covered in mud. Her coat got most of it. Can you bring her clothes to change in to?"

"She's covered in mud?"

Did I mention today was picture day?

The kindergartners were headed to the gym for pictures in 20 minutes.

More me!

A special thank you to Leah for the wonderful job she did on making my page a little more me! Click on her name to see all the wonderful-ness she creates in her life :)

Good ol' Granny

Grandmothers WERE elderly with gray hair, a full bosom, and wide waist. They worn matronly dresses and aprons. They baked and cooked and cleaned. At 50, they were grandparents a few times over and looked as though they were 100.

Now, have you met my mom?

My mom works nights- 7 pm to 7 am, usually 3 or 4 days a week. She is high up on the food chain at a fairly large local hospital. She has been a nurse for a million years. She is a FANTASTIC nurse- very knowledgeable and very much a people person. I think she thrives on nights that her hospital is on trauma. One of the things I admire most about her is that she refers to her career as a calling. She LOVES being a nurse. She says that she doesn't go to church- she goes to work instead.

My mom is a fierce entertainer and dinner party thrower. Her's are the parties that you want to get invited to. It will look like she spent the last month preparing when in reality she just spent the last month making lists on the way she want things to look like and a day or two to cook and prepare. I tease her and tell her that she has the Martha Stewart gene. It skipped me and went straight to Natalie.

My mom has short, spiky, blond hair and wears leopard glasses. She came to Gracie's birthday party in heeled brown boots and Abercrobie jeans- you know the ones that you buy already worn and holey? Not the outfit of your 'typical' grandma-ma.

My mom travels.... north, south, east, west, sometimes needing a passport, and sometimes not. She shares her love of travel with her grandbabies and friends alike.

Did I mention that she's in school getting her Masters in Nursing with an emphasis in teaching?

Just your average grandma.



If this is what 60 looks like, bring it on!!

My day

I am a:

chauffeur, finder of lost things, alarm clock, chef, Mary Poppins, organizer, cheerleader, maid, dishwasher, coach, washer woman, librarian, Gal Friday, CEO, referee, secretary, litigator, hair dresser, teacher, doctor, sanitation worker, singer, maintenance, doctor, and sex goddess.

All in a day.

No wonder I’m tired.